JetsFix Mailbag 2017 #1 (Part 2)

We've been responding to your mailbag questions. In case you missed it, part one was here.

Remember, everybody had to ask one Jets/NFL question and one non-NFL question.

Here is part two (of three). Questions are in italics and the responses are in normal text:

juunit • What percentage of snaps do you expect the new safeties will play essentially as a corner?

I doubt they'll play out wide unless a back or tight end motions to the outside - or they start off in the slot but then the wide receiver motions inside.

According to PFF, Jamal Adams played 32% as a cornerback last season, which would have been primarily in the slot. Perhaps that's an indication of what we can expect this year from either him or Marcus Maye.

What is the point of the female orgasm?

Scientists have spent ages researching this (of course they have) and there appear to be three main schools of thought:

1. It somehow makes impregnation more likely by sucking the sperm into the reproductive tract. This is completely stupid and whoever came up with this theory obviously just spent his entire time watching porn and then forgot to come up with a conclusion until five minutes before the findings were due to be published.

2. It helps women identify a suitable mate. This is also stupid because women date the wrong person all the time and most of them presumably don't just use sex to find their Mr. Right.

3. If not for the possibility of some kind of gratification, there would be no obvious incentive for a woman to mate and so humanity would have died out. This one checks out more than the first two, but it's still only a theory and one which anyone could have thought up without needing to do any research.

What if there's no such thing and every woman has just been faking this whole time?

WHAT THEN?

jsadolph • Jeopardy style: Jets Answer: Brian Winters is the Key.

What is the last thing you'd want to hear an expert say when assessing the probability of success for the Jets' offensive line in 2017?

Non-Jets Answer: Yes

For which 70's prog band did Rick Wakeman play keyboards?

Enumerated_Powers • Who if any among Connor Harris, Xavier Coleman and Gabe Marks will make the final 53 this year?

I think Harris has the best chance but I could see Coleman being like a practice squadder who gets on the main roster by the time the season is over. As for Marks, you never know with undrafted wide receivers as we saw last year, but he probably gets lost in the shuffle.

Non-Jets Q: Will the USA beat El Salvador tonight in the CONCACAF Gold Cup quarterfinals?

They will win 2-0. Need to be wary of biting and nipple-tweaking though.

Hazard2012 • Jets Q: Who's your leading 'sleeper' heading into camp you feel has the best chance to make the 53 man roster?

Damn, now that Geno has left I have to come up with a real answer instead of just recycling the old alarm clock joke.

There's a few veterans I think will probably make the opening day roster that not many people are giving much attention to; namely Shamarko Thomas, Jordan Todman and Marquess Wilson. However, these are all guys who started plenty of games before in the NFL.

I think a guy being overlooked who could potentially not just make the roster but have a bigger role than expected is Lawrence Thomas. Or - because Austin Seferian-Jenkins will start off the year suspended - you could name one of the lesser known tight ends like Brian Parker.

Non-Jets Q: Is time really a flat circle condemning us all to an endless cycle of eternal return?

A flat circle: A route out of the backfield that Demario Davis definitely can't cover.

The endless cycle: Willie Colon's 2014 training camp.

The eternal return: Jakeem Grant breaking 67 tackles on that kick-off last year when Antonio Allen was offside and then the Jets were too tired to tackle Kenyan Drake on the do-over.

I thought this was supposed to be a non-Jets question!

NYJ Turf Toe • Jets/NFL: If for some reason Jimmy Garoppolo gets to FA or even is hit with a transitional status where we'd have to give NE our #1 for him, should we sign him instead of drafting a QB in 2018?

Garoppolo is an interesting one because he has a very flimsy, small sample sized résumé but still seems to have a lot of value. Some team is going to have to take a chance on him - maybe even New England - but teams should be wary after the success of Brian Hoyer, Ryan Mallett and Matt Cassel coming out of that system.

Surrendering a first for him seems like a huge risk, especially if, as expected, the Jets have a high pick. It would be a leap of faith to make that move.

Other: As a Star Wars fan have you ever read the Darth Bane series? Wouldn't that make a cool series if they made that canon?

I haven't read the books but I'm familiar with the character and his arc and I'd be keen to see it represented on screen.

Darth Bane and the fact that he was the creator of the rule of two have actually already been established in canon, but obviously the finer detail within those books would still be classified as legends.

I'm sure they'll move onto some Old Republic stuff eventually, but I think they'll continue to mine the main trilogy era for the next few movies.

Disgruntled Jets Fan • Choose one letter to remove from all Jets players' names. For example, if you chose W, we'd have Leonard Illiams and Brian Inters.

Easy! I choose the letter "R" and now there is a player called Bent Qvale.

Other highlights: Oma Mois, James Capente, Jeemy Clak, Chis Hape, Deick Jones, Daon Lee, Oss Matin, Spence Paysinge, Sheldon Ichadson, Dayl Obets, Buste Skine, Devin Steet and Dakota Dozie.

This also makes me regret the fact that Dri Archer isn't still on the team.

If you were a character on GoT, how would you die?

The final showdown will be between the zombie ice queen Sansa flying on her raised-from-the-dead zombie dragon Rhaegal and leading her army of zombie direwolves and the army of the dead against Dany, Viserion and the remaining living armies of the seven kingdoms, armed to the teeth with dragonglass.

The battle rages on with both sides decimated by dragon flames, wildfire and the onset of winter - a veritable "song" of "fire and ice".

Then my character shows up with his Valyrian lightsaber and single-handedly defeats the remnants of both armies, leaving bodies strewn everywhere, slain and dying. He claims the iron throne for himself which he sits on with the intention of ruling over the seven kingdoms with Gilly as his queen.

Only, just as you think the show is about to end, and just when you'd forgotten all about her, Cersei returns from her long exile and pulls a lever which causes two blades to extend out from the throne which Maester Qyburn had obviously gimmicked for Cersei in order to carry out this exact purpose years earlier. The blades tear through the necks and out through the throats of Gilly and my character. As our hands clasp together, a third blade extends out from the side, pinning and binding the hands together for eternity.

Or so it would seem. However, just as my character is gasping for his final breath, an innocent pigeon flies down and lays an egg into his mouth. This pigeon just so happens to be the pigeon that Ned Stark warged into right before he was beheaded in the first season. Because, you see, Ned is who Bran inherited his warging powers from. And this egg immediately gives the same warging powers to my character so he wargs into the dying Night King who has been lightsabered in half but is still in the process of violently spasming and gurgling his way through a frankly attention-seekingly dramatic set of death throes.

As my character controls the Night King, he is able to raise both Gilly and my character from the dead, right before he shatters into a million pieces so Gilly and my character can leave Cersei alone to rule over a kingdom of none while we run off together to have zombiegillybabies.

That, or maybe drowning. I dunno.